On the weekend, I was chatting with a good friend about our career aspirations (or, in my case, business trajectory dreaming), and I was surprised when he told me that he’d experienced imposter syndrome not so long ago.
This surprised me for a couple of reasons. Firstly, we tend to hear a lot about women experiencing imposter syndrome, and I guess I extrapolated that to assume it affects women more than men (it’s been hard to find a clear answer on this one – this article anecdotally suggests women do encounter it more, while this article says the opposite).
Not to mention, this guy is smart, articulate, creative, and ambitious – so as far as I can see, he has zero reason to doubt he has the skills or experience to tackle anything he puts his mind to.
But I guess that’s the point, isn’t it? Somehow we let our brains talk us out of things because, despite really good evidence to the contrary, we believe that we can’t, or we’re not ready yet, or we don’t know enough to put ourselves forward for something new.
In the 8+ years I’ve been running my business (and in various jobs before that) you’d better believe I’ve fallen prey to imposter syndrome. And like you, I’ve definitely let it hold me back! I’m not going to bullshit you – I don’t think it ever fully goes away. But here’s what I do to quieten its voice when I need to.
stop looking at what others are doing
I have lots of ideas for my business and dreams about where I’d like to take it. And one thing guaranteed to stop me in my tracks is seeing someone else doing the thing I’d like to do – because (my brain says) they’re already doing it so well, they’re so polished, I don’t have my systems locked down yet, they’re obviously more qualified, they’re better at business… you get the idea!
The quickest way to shut down this comparisonitis is if you have no idea what other people are doing. So unfollow, unsubscribe, and take a break from scrolling your socials.
seek out evidence to the contrary
If you’re really honest with yourself, you know what you’re good at, where your strengths lie, what people value when they work with you, and what you’re capable of. So actively seek out and capture that information!
This might look like:
- Ask clients for testimonials regularly
- When you get unsolicited positive feedback, save it somewhere you can easily find it (like a ‘Smile’ folder in your inbox)
- Create a list of 25 reasons why you can do the thing (or more – challenge yourself and dig really deep)
Then, when doubts creep in you can look at all of the above and remind yourself that you do know what you’re doing, you are good at this, and you can do the thing!
dig beneath the fear
Spend some time listening to those voices and dig into what’s beneath them. What are you afraid of?
Maybe it’s that you’ll fail and it’ll be really embarrassing. Maybe no one will buy your new online course. Maybe it’ll be a really expensive mistake. Maybe you won’t be able to do what a client asks.
We all have our own reasons that show up as fear. This is our minds trying to protect us by keeping us away from perceived danger. And once you understand what it’s trying to protect you from, you can have a chat with yourself about why you don’t need to be protected (I know, it sounds weird, but it can help!)
what might go wrong?
Following on from above, the point here is to figure out your contingencies. For example, maybe you will spend a lot of time creating an online course and no one will buy it. And yep, that will be really disappointing! But, what’ve you lost? Some time, and probably some money. But you’ve also built an asset for your business, and you will learn so much along the way – both skills, tech, and lessons about marketing, sales, and effective copywriting.
Or say you commit to something for a client, but then the project throws up something you can’t do (and then you spiral, thinking you’ll have to give back all the money, you’ll ruin the client’s project, your reputation will be shattered, and so on). How will you handle that? You could ask your community for help to fill your knowledge gaps, or good ol’ Youtube. You could let the client know you need a little more time to figure out this one thing but you’ll get it done. If you genuinely can’t do something, you’ll find another solution like a partial refund, or engaging a subbie to help you. Ultimately, the client will appreciate your clear, timely communication and your dedication to finding a solution.
Once you confront these worst case scenarios and realise they’re very unlikely to be as bad as you fear, it can be easier to take the anxiety out of the situation and keep moving forwards.
find a smaller step
Which brings me to the final tip: when you find yourself paralysed by insecurity and doubt, the best thing you can do is act. This might mean finding a smaller (easier, safer) step to take that will move you in the direction you desire, without triggering your anxiety and imposter syndrome. Maybe instead of a huge public launch, you reach out directly to some warm leads (so the world won’t know if no one buys). If you want to pivot your services, maybe you take on a small project to test the waters.
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